Rebuilding the village: Nurturing maternal mental health on the Gold Coast

They say that it takes a village to raise a child, but in 2024 most of us (in western culture anyway) have lost the traditional village of support, which included multiple generations of extended family, neighbours, and the community pitching in to help raise children.

Maternal mental health is on the decline, with many mothers feeling isolated and unsupported at a time when they are going through huge physical, emotional, spiritual, and relationship transformations.

Image courtesy of The Nurtured Village

The Nurtured Village Hampers is a nationwide charity that is bringing back the traditional village of support in early parenthood. This re-villaging movement was started by Emma Gray in 2019, when she gave birth to her first baby and realised how lonely and overwhelming the journey was. There are now chapters around Australia, including one right here on the Gold Coast, which is run by local Mudgeeraba mother, Steph Schulz.

Each month, Steph finds, through the community, a local mother who needs support, and organises a hamper of locally sourced goodies donated by the community. These hampers may include things like home-cooked meals, beauty vouchers, gift vouchers, baby clothing, and nappies—whatever mum needs at the time. If you’d like to get involved or donate, contact centralgoldcoast@thenurturedvillage.org

I had the privilege of first chatting with Emma and then Steph about the tough parts of motherhood and hopes for the future of the modern parenting village.

Emma, why do you think new mums can often feel so isolated and alone?

Social media portrays a picture of motherhood that leans into bounce-back culture. We see perfectly curated images of motherhood and parenthood on social media, and it looks "easy”, and I believe that contributes to a society that doesn't show up for our mothers in the way they need it.

Postnatal care in Australia is incredibly lacking. I was discharged from the birth suite just 6 hours after birthing my son. I went home to two babies under the age of two. I had an incredibly supportive husband, but no one can prepare you for the emotional and physical toll that takes on your body with very little practical support - all the while navigating the largest hormonal shift the human body ever goes through. We need to do better as a society, a culture, and as neighbours, and our government needs to do better to support mothers and young families.

Image courtesy of The Nurtured Village

What has been the hardest and most eye-opening part of motherhood for you?

Identity loss. When I first became a mum, I was so immersed in the role that I forgot who I was as a person. What did I need? What fills my cup? I honestly didn't know. I gave every inch of me to my beautiful daughter, and I lost myself.

When my daughter was a baby, I remember watching a mum at the park struggle with her 4-year-old triplets. I started talking to her, and instantly I knew that I needed to hear other women’s stories, I needed to know that I wasn't the only overwhelmed mum who didn't feel like she had it all under control, and I thought that if I needed those stories, maybe another mum somewhere else did too.

That’s when I started The Nurtured Village Podcast, to give a voice to ordinary mums who were navigating similar experiences and whose words could reach mums feeling the same way.

What is your proudest achievement with TNV?

We now have over 60 volunteers who believe in our goals and the power of our hamper initiative. We have impacted over 160 families with over $100,000 worth of goods and services. That’s a whole lot of small acts of kindness from the community!

If you could change one thing about modern parenting culture, what would it be?

We need to bring additional support into the homes of postpartum mothers. They do it well in the Netherlands, where healthcare professionals come into the homes of new mothers for weeks after they give birth. This person called a Kraamzorg, helps with feeding, assessments of both mum and bub and light household duties like cleaning and washing. It would be amazing to have something like this here, provided by the government.

Image courtesy of The Nurtured Village

Steph, why did you decide to get involved with TNV?

I suffered from postnatal depression after the birth of my first daughter and have continued to struggle with my mental health and the overwhelm of trying to be a great mum while also trying to progress in my career. I was really drawn to the fact that this was a charity created to address the maternal mental health crisis by offering support to local mums in the community. 

My absolute favourite part of the experience is meeting all the beautiful people who donate to the hampers and meeting the mums themselves. I have made some wonderful connections with my local council and with other charitable organisations that really appreciate what we do for the members of our community.

Why did you choose Mudgeeraba as the place to raise your children?

We wanted space for our kids to play and grow, access to great schools, and close to the hinterland and the beach. It has the Village Green—like your own little country town centre, what’s not to love! We will have lived here for 10 years, and I wouldn’t dream of ever living anywhere else. 

I also witnessed just last month, what an amazing community I live in, through the outpouring of donations we received for one of our local mums, and the support I received from everyone to put it all together.

What has been the toughest part of motherhood for you?

I think the fact that it affected absolutely every aspect of my identity—mentally, emotionally, and physically—once I became a mother, I felt like I had become a completely different person.

What do you think is the toughest thing about modern parenting culture?

There is an overwhelming amount of information on just about every aspect of parenting, and it all contradicts each other. Even your trusted healthcare professionals will contradict each other depending on how they were raised, what they were taught, and their own opinions. Living in a digital age certainly has its benefits but when it comes to parenting, the constant bombardment of recommendations and advice, the non-stop imagery of what the ‘perfect’ parent looks like, and the sheer amount of information that is out there is contributing to how we value ourselves as mothers and gauge whether we are a ‘good’ parent.

Consider other people’s advice, and then do what you want. You are the parent your child needs, and you are doing an amazing job!

For more information about becoming part of The Nurtured Village (as a recipient or donor) head to https://www.thenurturedvillage.org/ or email centralgoldcoast@thenurturedvillage.org